12:02 p.m. - 2004-11-18
Not the Proverbs 31 Wife
Let me lay this on the table from the start � I am a lousy wife! Certainly not the woman as described in the Bible � Proverbs 31. I often wonder if I missed the package titled �Recipe Ingredients to be a: better half, bride, concubine, consort, dame, helpmate, little woman, mate, matron, Mrs., other half, partner, rib, roommate, spouse, squaw, wifey.� when the gifts you needed to make it through life were handed out.
No � I probably bee-lined to the �Better Off Single� or �Everything Crafty� line-ups.
My T suffers mightily in this kinship with me. He woke up sometime during the wee hours of this morning with terrible stomach pains. I was not wakened from my deep slumber until 5:30am, and as my sleep deprived brain tried to laboriously function and become aware of my surroundings, I hear the groans emitted from my loved one.
The shocking part was I was not immediately concerned. In fact, my innermost voice was saying, �if I ignore this long enough it will go away�. My T was suffering painfully, and loudly.
Once I was more awake responsive to his needs I tried to ask the basic questions (at least some small wifely concerns were showing). �Do you need me to take you to the hospital?� �Where does it hurt?� �What do you want me to do about it?�
His answers were �No!�, �Everywhere� (I could tell he was motioning to me � in the dark, which wasn�t any help), and �Tell me what�s wrong!!� respectively.
This is where I feel I failed miserably � I gave him no sympathy. I did not offer to sit up with him and keep him company in his time of need, apply a cool cloth to his brow. I did not just jump out of bed and coo and console him. I only wanted the blissful relief that sleep would give against the tirades of his concerns. In fact, finally as he realized I could not shed a light upon his perplexed and unhappy state, he came back to bed, lied down, and went back to sleep.
I suppose this is what I get for stating yesterday that my life � recently � was uneventful, and not worth writing about.
I must excogitate this gifting (or lack of) state of wife.
Ruminatingly yours - LJ
