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"Leave Me A Note"

3:46 p.m. - 2005-05-19

Close your eyes and think of England

Possible uncomfortable reading to follow . . . .

You canít say I didnít warn you.

I finally had my OBGYN specialist visit yesterday. I think we booked it back in February when I was undergoing all those Ďotherí medical visits. And I gotta tell ya Ö it wasnít fun. Yes ladies Ė you know what I mean. People lookiní in place people just shouldnít be lookiní.

None-the-less there is a funny side to all this. As Iím laying there, trying to imagine that Iím on some sunny beach as far far away from this doctor* as possible, Iíve got my eyes shut hard. In further effort to distance my mind from my reality I held my hands over each closed eye, pressing sharply against my brain. When finally the doctor was done with me I began to lift my hand from my eyes, only to have my left contact lens pop furtively off of my eye.

There I was trying to disengage my legs from their holsters, keep the examination gown from falling off my unclad below waist extremities, and hold my hand over my now contactless eye in an effort to not lose said contact.

Thankfully the doctor left the room, and I managed Ė very ungracefully Ė to shift my body, not lose the contact and decide what to do next. Should I get my pants and under garments on first? Should I find some safe place to land the contact temporarily? Should I cry out for Jesus to come back and sweep me up to heaven?

Ruling out the last suggestion quickly, I decided to gently lay the drying contact lens down on the doctorís desk, and get dressed. Once dressed I blinkingly relocated the silly contact took it over to the sink and lightly wetted it. Afraid the doctor would walk in on my at any more, thereby possibly having to explain myself, I quickly attempted to pop the contact back into my eye.

As yet unbothered by the doctor I settle back into my seat to await his re-entry and explanation of the exam. However, I found myself blink most uncomfortably and continually, nor could I see clearly. My thoughts ran back to previous experiences of the contact needing time to settle (there is a top and bottom to my contacts), and came to the conclusion that due to the partial dryness of the contact, it was taking longer than most to settle in.

The doctor returned and we sat and discussed the diagnoses and options. All the while I can feel my eye trying to reject the contact.

Blink Ö.. blink, blink ... twitch ... Ummm yes Iím listening ... uh-huh ... Blink ..... blink....uh-huh ...twitch .... blink,blink ..... You get the gist Iím sure.

We shake hands and I leave his office. Once in the car I quickly hunt down my eye drops to sooth these tired eyes. I take this moment to remove the offending contact, and low and behold Ė the contact had been in my eye converse (or backwards) to its appropriate application. This has never happened to me before, and I can honestly say Ė I donít want it to happen to me again. I now understand why the optometrist said to watch the way the contact curves when itís on your finger just before fitting it for wear. (There is method to their madness.)

Therein lies the adventure of your average Mugwhump about town. I may share more of the details of this specialists visit in the future. But for now, Iím still processing it in.

Blessings - LJ

* this doctor was apparently born without a funny bone, thereby making my nervousness level compound. Youíd think that someone who has to see woman from an entirely unprim, unproper, uncomfortable, unfashionable, unlikely position would have the compassion to at least smile a little.

This was before - This is now

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