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"Leave Me A Note"

12:02 p.m. - 2004-11-18

Not the Proverbs 31 Wife

Let me lay this on the table from the start – I am a lousy wife! Certainly not the woman as described in the Bible – Proverbs 31. I often wonder if I missed the package titled “Recipe Ingredients to be a: better half, bride, concubine, consort, dame, helpmate, little woman, mate, matron, Mrs., other half, partner, rib, roommate, spouse, squaw, wifey.” when the gifts you needed to make it through life were handed out.

No – I probably bee-lined to the “Better Off Single” or “Everything Crafty” line-ups.

My T suffers mightily in this kinship with me. He woke up sometime during the wee hours of this morning with terrible stomach pains. I was not wakened from my deep slumber until 5:30am, and as my sleep deprived brain tried to laboriously function and become aware of my surroundings, I hear the groans emitted from my loved one.

The shocking part was I was not immediately concerned. In fact, my innermost voice was saying, “if I ignore this long enough it will go away”. My T was suffering painfully, and loudly.

Once I was more awake responsive to his needs I tried to ask the basic questions (at least some small wifely concerns were showing). “Do you need me to take you to the hospital?” “Where does it hurt?” “What do you want me to do about it?”

His answers were “No!”, “Everywhere” (I could tell he was motioning to me – in the dark, which wasn’t any help), and “Tell me what’s wrong!!” respectively.

This is where I feel I failed miserably – I gave him no sympathy. I did not offer to sit up with him and keep him company in his time of need, apply a cool cloth to his brow. I did not just jump out of bed and coo and console him. I only wanted the blissful relief that sleep would give against the tirades of his concerns. In fact, finally as he realized I could not shed a light upon his perplexed and unhappy state, he came back to bed, lied down, and went back to sleep.

I suppose this is what I get for stating yesterday that my life – recently – was uneventful, and not worth writing about.

I must excogitate this gifting (or lack of) state of wife.

Ruminatingly yours - LJ

This was before - This is now

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