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"Leave Me A Note"

12:59 p.m. - 2006-09-28

Odd conversations during an odd time

You know your dealing with the grieving process when ….

You begin to talk about your mother as if she were an inanimate object.

On the morning of the first memorial service it was my middle brother’s (K) and my job to go ‘pick up mom’ from the funeral director. Which we did dutifully. K didn’t want to go in and ask for her so he sent me. Which I did dutifully.

“Hi, I’m LJ and I’m here to pick up my mom.”

“Just a moment, I’ll go get her” replies the funeral director lady.

I wait at her front door while she leaves the room. When she returns she’s carrying a dark green velvet bag with gold tassels. I took mom from her and was immediately surprised by the weight – a good 6-7 lbs. I was expecting much less.

As I walked back to the car I was thinking “I’m carrying my mother…?!!?!! Oh My Goodness, I’m carrying my mother!”

We took Mom over to the church where the service would be. My brother seemed hesitant to hold her, and I felt weird holding her. But deposit her on the sacrificial table we did. I even took her little sleeping bag off. Then we walked away to find the Reverend and continue on our appointed rounds.

“We’ll pick up Mom later, after the tea. We don’t need to take her to the Tea after the service. There is no reason to take her.”

“That’s fine. We’ve just got to remember not to forget to pick her up again.”

Surreal conversations to have on the day of your mother’s memorial service.

The following day we got a convoy of three vehicles and headed off south to our next stop, and Mom’s final resting place. This portion of the trip would take us a good 5 hours to drive.

In the franticness of the day I kept worrying that we’ll forget her on the living room coffee table. It’s quite hard to keep track of an urn with your parent’s ashes in it. But we didn’t forget her.

Along the way we stopped off at a place called Abraham Lake which was one of my parents (and my eldest brother’s) favourite stops. Very picturesque and as soon as I get photo’s downloaded onto Flickr you can see so for yourselves.

After our brief stop, stretches, and photo op we got back into our respective vehicles and continued the journey. It was then that I realized we should have brought Mom out and included her in our stop. She might have enjoyed the view (…?...). It seemed ironic that we would stop at a place that my parents would have always stopped at and loved and we didn’t include her, and for some reason – I felt a little guilty too.

She was very near her final resting place, and thus ends the entry of surreal inanimate object discussions.

This was before - This is now




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