2:00 p.m. - 2005-09-22
Mugwhump Plagiarizes - but not really
This is not my writing, but I felt the need to share a chuckle or two today. Life is still very busy, and I miss you all here a lot! I hope to come out from under the barrage very soon. In the mean time, enjoy this little chuckle.
Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven
The day finally arrives, Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates and is met by Saint Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed and Forrest approaches Saint Peter.
Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it''s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven. Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here Saint Peter, sir, but nobody ever told me about any entrance exam, sure hope the test isn't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? How many seconds are there in a year? What is God''s first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees Saint Peter, who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers." Forrest says, "Well, the first one, which two days in the week begin with the letter T?" Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow." The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks Saint Peter. "How many seconds in a year?"
"Twelve," said Forrest.
Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name
could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says, "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ..."
"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter, "I see where you're going with this and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind ... but I''ll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"
"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated Saint Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song ... "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN ..."
Saint Peter opens the Pearly Gates and says, "Run Forrest, run."
