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"Leave Me A Note"

11:33 a.m. - 2005-03-09

Blogging, Bloggers, and Dreams

I had the weirdest dream last night. Many of my blogging friends were in it. To be more specific, we ALL lived in different apartments in one large apartment building. Laura-Jane and her Cameron lived there. I helped them move (in my dream). Kel lived there, except she was a he.

Many other bloggers were there that I don’t read, but blogs that I do read, read them. Does that make sense?

Anyway – it was very odd that we all lived in the same building and all blogged. Maybe it was my subconscious making the connection regarding the reality of blogging and the community of blogging. Maybe it was the article that Firemind posted on Tuesday entitled “Blogging is good for you”.

All in all – it was nice to meet you all! But I’m wondering about Kel now . . .I remember being very confused at the discovery of X Faxta’s gender. I had been so sure that she was a she . . . . utter perplexity.

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I had a good chat with my hubby last night. Our usual nighttime ritual is to come to bed with a book in hand. For some reason last night I felt that we needed to touch base on some areas. I know that ‘talking’ is a female trait, but sometimes it is very important to make sure you’re on the same page (not in the book, but in our lives together).

One thing came out of our discussion last night. Actually it was more of something I’ve always known, but is now compounded because T has the same problem.

I / we struggle with making goals. I hadn’t realized, until last night, that I was looking to him to set ‘our’ goals, and I think the he was looking to me to set ‘our’ goals. I am not a leader. I am not comfortable with setting the stride. I am content to follow. I am content to be directed. I am not comfortable even thinking about setting personal goals. Immense feelings of overwhelm come over me even as I begin to think about setting a goal. I know where my fear of goal setting stems from, but I am not to sure how to overcome it.

How is it that a couple that are dating are so filled with lofty goals and aspirations, but once the reality bus hits the ground again – these same (probably somewhat romantic) goals are lost and/or forgotten. Sometimes in the efforts to think towards goals life slips through your fingers, and it suddenly becomes to late to try. I know that within in my spiritual walk I have the Hope that is Jesus Christ, but within that I also have basic human wants and desires. How do you balance that? How do you take the fear out of goal setting? Do we need to set goals. Maybe that’s what I’m stuck on the most. Do I need to set goals? I am not a goal-oriented person can I accept that?

Ummmm . . . . the quandary that I’ve started within myself. I do much better when I concentrate on …. one week until my birthday!!!

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