1:59 p.m. - 2004-12-06
Between life, illness, work, exams (for some), and Christmas Ė we all seem to be running around like chickens with our heads cut off. Or is that just my perspective? (I donít think so)
Last week my In-laws arrived on Monday night, November 29th. My Mother-in-law was checking into the hospital for surgery on the Tuesday. Back surgery to be specific. My Father-in-law has been staying with us while she has been convalescing, and we suspect that she will continue on in our home until she is fit to travel back up to Nanaimo.
I do not do well with long-term visitors.
No matter who they are, or how much I love them. I want my house back.
Is that completely selfish? Yes, I suppose it is, but I put it in the same category as I do Ďchangeí. I donít do well with change either.
On top of all this I am struggling with Christmas, and what it means to me. That probably sounds fairly odd from someone who professes to be a Christian, but I donít mean it from that perspective. I know that December 25th is a surreptitious day set aside to celebrate the birth of a baby who was fully God and fully man, born of virgin birth. A baby who grew into a man who would take on my sins, die on the cross, be buried, and rise from the dead. I know that, and I celebrate that. However, I find myself missing the joy that can and should be authentically felt at this time of year.
Itís almost as if I wish to regain the naivetť and wonder that my remembrances tell me I once experienced as a child. Although, I am a firm believer that we choose to candy gloss our memories of childhood, but Iím not going to get into that right now.
How can I unhinge the adult in me and recapture a simpler, awestruck, childlike joy at Christmas season? And why do I think Iíd feel terribly silly if I did some spontaneous, unaffected, childlike act? Have I become so Ďmatureí that Iíve forgotten how to have fun? Have I become so serious that I canít change gears and laugh with every ounce of my being? If thatís the case Ė I hate being an adult Ė it isnít any fun anymore!!
I pray this is only a temporary slump in my otherwise normally balanced life. In fact the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that Iím just tired, and in desperate need of sleep.
Yes Ė that is it. Or at least that is how Iím going to justify todayís entry. Iím tired, and I want to go make snow angels in the snow. Have a snowball fight. Build a snow fort. Play Monopoly (although I always wanted, but never got, Operation).
Unfortunately I live in a part of the world that doesnít get snow; I donít own Monopoly or Operation; and I no one wants to come out a play with me. Therefore I must get about the way of the adult, and get back to my job.
Cheers - LJ