9:11 a.m. - 2004-09-22
Well, Iíve been pondering this question for a couple of days. That, and I havenít spent much time here lately so my creative juices arenít flowing like Iíd like them. Or rather they are, but only in a work sense Ė boring stuff for my diary.
I have always been a rather shy, introverted person. Emphasised to the max when I was a kid. I had regular kid like fears - things living under the bed and in the closet, old people (see Nocturnal Mental Meaderings.
What brought these fears on? I donít know. Do I still battle the dark today Ė certainly not, at least not when it comes to beddy-bye time Ė the darker the better. But I do need a small point of reference. I need to be able to discern where the window or door is. Otherwise when I wake up sleepwalking Iím terribly disoriented. I still walk and talk in my sleep, often sitting up in bed, eyeís open, talking up a storm to some person or situation occurring in my dream state. Having partial wakefulness I am often aware that Iím dreaming awake. Drives T crazy!! (Iíve lost count of the times Iíve woken up with different clothes on, my bedside light on, or object placed beside my bed that werenít there when I went to bed.)
However - dark basement can still gives me the heebee-geebeeís.
Iím over my fear of old people. I had a lot of great aunts and uncles (no grandparents though Ė they decided to leave this earthly plain long before I came to be) in my youth, so I would suspect that fear came out of my shyness more than a fear.
This is not to say that I donít have any fears now, as an adult. Our adult fears are often far more complex than we were kids. These fears can possibly come out of our childhood, but didnít manifest themselves until later. But thatís a whole different entry.
What about you? Do you still carry fears from your youth? How did you overcome them?
Cheers - LJ